Sunday, 1 May 2016

Things I Learned In April 2016


Oh hi May! I survived another month. The world is full of cherry blossom and the blue sky smells of Spring flowers and rain on hot concrete. Liverpool is waking up and life is fucking awesome.


Shit I learned in April....

  • April fooling me is too fucking easy! Fuck you Dan Cosh!
  • I trust Niko, although this level of trust does not come naturally to me. I now know that when he tells me a thing it will remain true. I will try to let this be. To avoid having the same conversation more than once.
  • Food is important! Thus, Niko is happy to feed me. And I am happy to feed my body. And eating out, and cooking and eating in, is fun! <3
  • Having my ESA increased to a more reasonable amount does not mean that I am not poor! It just means that I can survive and be somewhat safer/more comfortable. Niko is still happy to buy our main groceries, but I can chose to buy foods and treats if I want to. No obligation.
  • I feel safe and happy, completely. I love my little friend group in this awesome new life. I love having people to stay at Niko's with us. I do my own thing without any anxiety or pressure.
  • I need to rest more! Self care and spoon preservation!
  • I love food! Still all about gluttony, but also loving to work out! Taking care of my body makes me happy. Staying strong and healthy for me <3.
  • Making sweet potato fries is pretty easy! Just cut them. Oil and season. Then bake at 200C, turning regularly, for around 30 minutes. Omnomnom!
  • I can still draw! Starting a regular drawing practice again and I am feeling good about it!
  • The Spectrum of Feels! All feelings/emotions are valid and important! It can't rain all the time.
  • I really like playing Pathfinder RPG with my 'family'.
  • Learning to practice more positive stims! Right now I really enjoy rubbing my legs against clean, soft bed-sheets, locking my fingers between my toes, chewing soft rubber/vinyl toys. Touching things that feel nice to touch generally.
  • Domestic shit makes me ridiculously happy! I am all about cooking and cleaning and feeding people <3.
Goals for May...
  • More doing! Daily goals have been set. I want to read, cross stitch, make art and work out every day, or as close as possible!
  • More trust! Less anxiety, more faith!
  • Practice gentle, patient self care. Focus on healing.

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